Welcome everybody around the world
to
the late show.
I'm your host Stephen Colbert and we have
Thunder. Is that Thunder?
You know,
you know, I like I like I like to give
good news when we can give good news.
And I have some wonderful news for my
MAGA viewers.
The Trump golden cell phone has finally
arrived after a 9-month delay. Now, the
only the only Trump item more
disappointing after a 9-month wait was
Eric.
You know, you know, I've said a lot of
mean things about Eric over the years.
As for the phone,
As for the phone, let's be clear, this
thing sucks.
>>
When they announced the phone last year,
the Trumps promised it would be made in
the USA. But now that it's here, brace
yourself.
It is no longer made in the USA. The
website now just says designed with
American values in mind. Oh, that's
fine. That's CL. No.
Hey. Hey, that's close enough. Okay.
It's just like Arby's slogan. We have
the meats in mind.
Yesterday, just yesterday. Yesterday,
Trump took a break from profiting off
the presidency to speak at the annual
congressional picnic and he gave this
update on the war in Iran.
>>
We're going to end that war very
quickly. It's going to happen and it's
going to happen fast. Is it
>>
because this is what you said at the
beginning of March.
>>
Are you thinking this week it will be
over talking days?
>>
I think so.
>>
Okay. And and with respect to
>>
very soon that it's going to be finished
pretty quickly.
>>
And this is what you said at the
beginning of April.
>>
Going to finish it very fast. I view it
as very close to over.
>>
And this is what you said at the
beginning of May.
>>
You have a lion, a bear, an alligator,
and a what's another good? A squirrel.
Okay. Which is the squirrel?
I think the squirrel is the one
presently in control of the straight of
Hormuz.
Trump.
Trump.
Trump also took a moment at the at the
occasion there to shout out Melania.
>>
We're truly blessed to have such a first
lady. She's been uh so popular. She did
a movie. it became number one. She then
went to streaming, it became number one.
And uh, I said, "There's only room,
remember this, for one star in a
family." So I better get rid of that.
That's not. That's not so good.
>>
Better get rid of that. It was a pretty
weird thing to say to your wife, but at
least he's finally got a use for that
greeting card. Roses are red. I love a
Gardinia. Time for you to go back to
Slovenia.
next month. There you go.
Looks out. After tonight, we have only
one more show left and it is our
Oh, but let's have But let's have fun
now, shall we?
>>
That's what we're here for.
And as such, we know our jobs. It's our
duty to focus on the issues that matter
to Americans most. namely that the TSA
has announced a carry-on rule that
allows passengers to bring unlimited
rotisserie chicken on board. Thank god
that is so great. I was getting tired of
having to chug my chicken in line.
TSA made the announcement via tweet.
Protein shakes 3.4 ounce or less, but
rotisserie chickens as many as you can
fit in your carry-on.
You know what? You know what, y'all?
What?
>>
Old Steve would have hated this.
But final week, Steve, I love this for
us.
>>
Okay, come on.
>>
I mean, let it all at this point.
>>
Let it all hang out.
>>
What does it matter
everything? Stop trying. Stop trying to
make flying better. Okay, let's be
disgusting. Bring your chickens. Go
barefoot. Forget crying babies. I'm
going to scream all the way to
Cleveland.
Why?
Why? Same reason as the baby. Having a
body is weird and I'm scared.
Now,
ladies and gentlemen,
yeah.
Oh yes.
Ladies and gentlemen, if you, much like
the FCC, have been paying close
attention to my show, then you know
we've been auctioning off all kinds of
great Late Show memorabilia and selling
commemorative The Last Show t-shirts,
all to raise money for the international
aid organization, World Central Kitchen.
And I'm excited to say that we got a
great response on all of our auctions.
And here to accept our donation is the
founder of World Central Kitchen. Please
welcome Chef Jose Andre, everybody.
Oh,
right here, baby. Jose Andre,
>>
good to see you. Now, Jose,
>>
Stephen, Stephen Colber, you and your
team. Thank you on behalf of everybody
at World Central Kitchen and Beyond
because you raised over the last decade
and more so much money for us that help
us do what we do. But you did so much
more.
>>
You you gave us hope not only to the men
and women of World Central Kitchen, but
the people that World Central Kitchen
was helping from Ukraine to Gaza, from
North Carolina to Puerto Rico. And
Stephen Colbert was there.
>>
No, because you were there. Because you
were there, Jose. Thank you. and Jose,
we want to give you our donation on, you
know, one of those giant checks, but
it's hard to find a bank that will cash
one of those. So, instead, we have
decided to present our donation tonight
on the world's smallest check.
Okay? And it's too small to read
anything on the check. So, I will
instead now slip it underneath a
microscope.
>>
All right. That's really small.
>>
Real check. Okay. Joe, could I have a
tiny drum roll, please?
And the total is
2,497,444.15.
Jose,
Jose, thank you so much.
Thank you. No, no, no. Thank you to
everyone. Thank you to everyone who
contributed. And Jose, thank you to
everyone, you and everyone at World
Central Kitchen for the work you do
around the world bringing people hope.
And uh try not to lose this. Um I tell
you, I'll put it in an envelope for you.
There you go.
>>
Hey
people of America,
please.
Andre, everybody, we got a great show
for you tonight with some very special
guests. Stick around.
0.5x - Slower
0.75x - Slow
1.0x - Normal
You might also like these videos
If you enjoy using our custom video player, why not join thousands of subscribers who have signed up to our free weekly lessons?