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[bright instrumental music playing] [bright instrumental music playing]
bright
instrumental
music
playing
[typing] [typing]
typing
[Emma] A novel by
by
X
Emma…
[Emma] A novel by Emma…
Emma
A
novel
by
Emma
Mm… Mm…
Mm
T. Wilde. T. Wilde.
T
Wilde
"DCI Penny… "DCI Penny…
DCI
Penny
Something Something
Something
had seen some murder scenes in
in
X
her time,
had seen some murder scenes in her time,
had
seen
some
murder
scenes
in
her
time
but
but
X
never one as…
but never one as…
but
never
one
as
as
as
X
this."
…as this."
as
this
"'Who moved the body?' "'Who moved the body?'
'Who
moved
the
body'
she said." she said."
she
said
"Snapped." "Snapped."
Snapped
"Demanded." "Demanded."
Demanded
"Entreated." "Entreated."
Entreated
"Screamed"? "Screamed"?
Screamed
"She said." "She said."
She
said
[sighs] [sighs]
sighs
[ in
in
X
funny voice] Nice cup of
of
X
tea for
for
X
the lady?
[in funny voice] Nice cup of tea for the lady?
in
funny
voice
Nice
cup
of
tea
for
the
lady
-No, thanks. -[grunts] -No, thanks. -[grunts]
No
thanks
grunts
[ in
in
X
Scottish accent] Or eggy bread?
[in Scottish accent] Or eggy bread?
in
Scottish
accent
Or
eggy
bread
Can I do you some eggy bread, my wee midgie? Can I do you some eggy bread, my wee midgie?
Can
I
do
you
some
eggy
bread
my
wee
midgie
-No. Not for
for
X
me. Thanks. -[ in
in
X
normal voice] No?
-No. Not for me. Thanks. -[in normal voice] No?
No
Not
for
me
Thanks
in
normal
voice
No
Now, who is Emma T. Wilde? Now, who is Emma T. Wilde?
Now
who
is
Emma
T
Wilde
-Why's she using a word processor? -Don't read over
over
X
my shoulder, Ian.
-Why's she using a word processor? -Don't read over my shoulder, Ian.
Why's
she
using
a
word
processor
Don't
read
over
my
shoulder
Ian
So very sorry. Thought you might need a reader. So very sorry. Thought you might need a reader.
So
very
sorry
Thought
you
might
need
a
reader
It doesn't deserve a reader. It's crap. It doesn't deserve a reader. It's crap.
It
doesn't
deserve
a
reader
It's
crap
Uh, it's not crap. Nothing you do is crap. Uh, it's not crap. Nothing you do is crap.
Uh
it's
not
crap
Nothing
you
do
is
crap
[sighs] Hmm? [sighs] Hmm?
sighs
Hmm
-Why don't you go back to the play? -'Cause that too is crap. -Why don't you go back to the play? -'Cause that too is crap.
Why
don't
you
go
back
to
the
play
'Cause
that
too
is
crap
-[smoke alarm blaring] -Oh shit! -[smoke alarm blaring] -Oh shit!
smoke
alarm
blaring
Oh
shit
[sighs] Oh God. [sighs] Oh God.
sighs
Oh
God
-[pots clattering] -[Ian groans] -[pots clattering] -[Ian groans]
pots
clattering
Ian
groans
[Emma] I'm going out tonight. [Emma] I'm going out tonight.
Emma
I'm
going
out
tonight
-I'm gonna stink. -[Ian grunts] Hot, hot, hot! -I'm gonna stink. -[Ian grunts] Hot, hot, hot!
I'm
gonna
stink
Ian
grunts
Hot
hot
hot
-You cannot eat that. It's burned. -You say burned. I say crispy. -You cannot eat that. It's burned. -You say burned. I say crispy.
You
cannot
eat
that
It's
burned
You
say
burned
I
say
crispy
Let's call the whole thing off
off
X
.
Let's call the whole thing off.
Let's
call
the
whole
thing
off
-[siren wailing outside
outside
X
] -[Emma sighs]
-[siren wailing outside] -[Emma sighs]
siren
wailing
outside
Emma
sighs
Really wish you wouldn't fry that when I'm about
about
X
to
to
X
go out.
Really wish you wouldn't fry that when I'm about to go out.
Really
wish
you
wouldn't
fry
that
when
I'm
about
to
go
out
-I've gotta wash my hair again now. -No, you don't. -I've gotta wash my hair again now. -No, you don't.
I've
gotta
wash
my
hair
again
now
No
you
don't
Come here. Come here.
Come
here
-[inhales] That's my favorite smell. -Yeah. Bacon. -[inhales] That's my favorite smell. -Yeah. Bacon.
inhales
That's
my
favorite
smell
Yeah
Bacon
[grunts] Sorry. [grunts] Sorry.
grunts
Sorry
[phone ringing] [phone ringing]
phone
ringing
-[receiver clatters] -[Ian] Mm. Whitehead-Morley residence. -[receiver clatters] -[Ian] Mm. Whitehead-Morley residence.
receiver
clatters
Ian
Mm
Whitehead-Morley
residence
Hello, Leeds. Hello, Leeds.
Hello
Leeds
[laughs] We did lift up
up
X
the carpet, yeah. No, there was no hardwood floor.
[laughs] We did lift up the carpet, yeah. No, there was no hardwood floor.
laughs
We
did
lift
up
the
carpet
yeah
No
there
was
no
hardwood
floor
It was just damp chipboard and old newspapers, which was a shame. It was just damp chipboard and old newspapers, which was a shame.
It
was
just
damp
chipboard
and
old
newspapers
which
was
a
shame
[shower running] [shower running]
shower
running
Yeah. Yeah, but
but
X
at
at
X
least we are homeowners.
Yeah. Yeah, but at least we are homeowners.
Yeah
Yeah
but
at
least
we
are
homeowners
-It's ours. -Ian, have you seen my razor? -It's ours. -Ian, have you seen my razor?
It's
ours
Ian
have
you
seen
my
razor
Things aren't that bad, are they? [laughs] Things aren't that bad, are they? [laughs]
Things
aren't
that
bad
are
they
laughs
Just on the phone to
to
X
your mom and dad.
Just on the phone to your mom and dad.
Just
on
the
phone
to
your
mom
and
dad
-Tell them I'll call back tomorrow. -It's fine. They called to speak to me. -Tell them I'll call back tomorrow. -It's fine. They called to speak to me.
Tell
them
I'll
call
back
tomorrow
It's
fine
They
called
to
speak
to
me
[chewing] She's good, yeah. [chewing] She's good, yeah.
chewing
She's
good
yeah
I do have a gig tonight. Yeah. Open mic, yeah. I do have a gig tonight. Yeah. Open mic, yeah.
I
do
have
a
gig
tonight
Yeah
Open
mic
yeah
Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Mm-hmm.
Yeah
Mm-hmm
Emma's… She's writing. Tap, tap, tap. Emma's… She's writing. Tap, tap, tap.
Emma's
She's
writing
Tap
tap
tap
[chuckles] [chuckles]
chuckles
Oh yeah. It's all happening. Yeah. Oh yeah. It's all happening. Yeah.
Oh
yeah
It's
all
happening
Yeah
[gentle music playing] [gentle music playing]
gentle
music
playing
[Ian] Mm. Mm. [Ian] Mm. Mm.
Ian
Mm
Mm
-Yeah. Yeah. -[book thuds] -Yeah. Yeah. -[book thuds]
Yeah
Yeah
book
thuds
[Ian laughs] [Ian laughs]
Ian
laughs
[audience cheers] [audience cheers]
audience
cheers
Next week, llamas who can hum, Next week, llamas who can hum,
Next
week
llamas
who
can
hum
and baby monkeys who are being reunited with
with
X
their mom.
and baby monkeys who are being reunited with their mom.
and
baby
monkeys
who
are
being
reunited
with
their
mom
-Aww! [laughs] -[closing theme playing] -Aww! [laughs] -[closing theme playing]
Aww
laughs
closing
theme
playing
Cannot wait for
for
X
that.
Cannot wait for that.
Cannot
wait
for
that
Hope to
to
X
see you here at
at
X
seven o'clock, BBC One, next week.
Hope to see you here at seven o'clock, BBC One, next week.
Hope
to
see
you
here
at
seven
o'clock
BBC
One
next
week
-Good night. -[audience cheers] -Good night. -[audience cheers]
Good
night
audience
cheers
Hey. Hey.
Hey
-No, thank you. -Sure. -No, thank you. -Sure.
No
thank
you
Sure
Cheers. Cheers.
Cheers
[phone beeps] [phone beeps]
phone
beeps
-[call connects] -Hey. -[call connects] -Hey.
call
connects
Hey
-Babe, did you see it? -No, sorry. I'm in
in
X
town.
-Babe, did you see it? -No, sorry. I'm in town.
Babe
did
you
see
it
No
sorry
I'm
in
town
[man] All right, Dex? [man] All right, Dex?
man
All
right
Dex
-How'd it go? -Yeah, it was great. -How'd it go? -Yeah, it was great.
How'd
it
go
Yeah
it
was
great
Nine million last week up
up
X
against
against
X
the football.
Nine million last week up against the football.
Nine
million
last
week
up
against
the
football
Hopefully, this week we'll get more. Hopefully, this week we'll get more.
Hopefully
this
week
we'll
get
more
What time are you back? There's a party later. What time are you back? There's a party later.
What
time
are
you
back
There's
a
party
later
Dex, what are you like
like
X
?
Dex, what are you like?
Dex
what
are
you
like
-Well, it's all part of
of
X
the job. -Is it?
-Well, it's all part of the job. -Is it?
Well
it's
all
part
of
the
job
Is
it
-Of course it is. -Thanks. -Of course it is. -Thanks.
Of
course
it
is
Thanks
-Aren't you filming tomorrow? -Yeah. Yeah. -Aren't you filming tomorrow? -Yeah. Yeah.
Aren't
you
filming
tomorrow
Yeah
Yeah
But not till four. But not till four.
But
not
till
four
I'm knackered. I'm gonna have a night in
in
X
.
I'm knackered. I'm gonna have a night in.
I'm
knackered
I'm
gonna
have
a
night
in
-[sighs] -Gotta go. Love you. -[sighs] -Gotta go. Love you.
sighs
Gotta
go
Love
you
[Emma] Excuse me. [Emma] Excuse me.
Emma
Excuse
me
-Are you television's Dexter Mayhew? -The very same. -Are you television's Dexter Mayhew? -The very same.
Are
you
television's
Dexter
Mayhew
The
very
same
[sighs] Oh God, it's so nice to
to
X
be out.
[sighs] Oh God, it's so nice to be out.
sighs
Oh
God
it's
so
nice
to
be
out
And it's been so long. And it's been so long.
And
it's
been
so
long
-Well, not that long. -Eh. -Well, not that long. -Eh.
Well
not
that
long
Eh
-You look lovely. -Ugh. No, I don't. -You look lovely. -Ugh. No, I don't.
You
look
lovely
Ugh
No
I
don't
-Cool shoes. -Saxone. -Cool shoes. -Saxone.
Cool
shoes
Saxone
-£12.99. -Mm. -£12.99. -Mm.
1299
Mm
One day, I'm gonna give you a compliment, and you won't reply with
with
X
the price.
One day, I'm gonna give you a compliment, and you won't reply with the price.
One
day
I'm
gonna
give
you
a
compliment
and
you
won't
reply
with
the
price
No. Never. No. Never.
No
Never
[both chuckle] [both chuckle]
both
chuckle
Come on
on
X
.
Come on.
Come
on
[horn honks] [horn honks]
horn
honks
Ah, of
of
X
course you've succumbed.
Ah, of course you've succumbed.
Ah
of
course
you've
succumbed
-To what? -You've got a mobile. -To what? -You've got a mobile.
To
what
You've
got
a
mobile
[Dexter] All right, you've got a choice. [Dexter] All right, you've got a choice.
Dexter
All
right
you've
got
a
choice
Either you can phone me. Either you can phone me.
Either
you
can
phone
me
Actually me, personally. Actually me, personally.
Actually
me
personally
Or you can phone a building, Or you can phone a building,
Or
you
can
phone
a
building
in
in
X
which I might just happen to
to
X
be in
in
X
at
at
X
the time.
in which I might just happen to be in at the time.
in
which
I
might
just
happen
to
be
in
at
the
time
The building. The building.
The
building
-And what if I don't pick up
up
X
? -God forbid you should miss a call.
-And what if I don't pick up? -God forbid you should miss a call.
And
what
if
I
don't
pick
up
God
forbid
you
should
miss
a
call
-I give you six months before
before
X
you cave. -Never.
-I give you six months before you cave. -Never.
I
give
you
six
months
before
you
cave
Never
-That sounds like
like
X
a bet. -Okay, a bet.
-That sounds like a bet. -Okay, a bet.
That
sounds
like
a
bet
Okay
a
bet
If I ever get a mobile phone, you can buy me dinner. If I ever get a mobile phone, you can buy me dinner.
If
I
ever
get
a
mobile
phone
you
can
buy
me
dinner
[scoffs] [scoffs]
scoffs
-What, again? -[both laugh] -What, again? -[both laugh]
What
again
both
laugh
-[Emma] Rude. -Come on. You're gonna like
like
X
this place.
-[Emma] Rude. -Come on. You're gonna like this place.
Emma
Rude
Come
on
You're
gonna
like
this
place
["Rocks" by
by
X
Primal Scream playing]
["Rocks" by Primal Scream playing]
Rocks
by
Primal
Scream
playing
[indistinct chatter] [indistinct chatter]
indistinct
chatter
-Hiya. The usual? -Yeah. -Hiya. The usual? -Yeah.
Hiya
The
usual
Yeah
PizzaExpress would've been fine. PizzaExpress would've been fine.
PizzaExpress
would've
been
fine
Amazing, eh? Amazing, eh?
Amazing
eh
It looks like
like
X
a cruise ship.
It looks like a cruise ship.
It
looks
like
a
cruise
ship
So nautical. Nautical but
but
X
nice.
So nautical. Nautical but nice.
So
nautical
Nautical
but
nice
What time do we hit the iceberg? [chuckles] What time do we hit the iceberg? [chuckles]
What
time
do
we
hit
the
iceberg
chuckles
-Ian joining us tonight? -What? -Ian joining us tonight? -What?
Ian
joining
us
tonight
What
You sound like
like
X
Ian.
You sound like Ian.
You
sound
like
Ian
[imitating Ian] "Nautical but
but
X
nice."
[imitating Ian] "Nautical but nice."
imitating
Ian
Nautical
but
nice
[scoffs] Dexter! [scoffs] Dexter!
scoffs
Dexter
What? What?
What
Love Ian. Love Ian.
Love
Ian
-Top bloke, Ian. -Mm. -Top bloke, Ian. -Mm.
Top
bloke
Ian
Mm
-You should hear what he says about
about
X
you. -Come on
on
X
. Let's get a drink.
-You should hear what he says about you. -Come on. Let's get a drink.
You
should
hear
what
he
says
about
you
Come
on
Let's
get
a
drink
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
Yeah
yeah
yeah
♪ Get your rocks off
off
X
Get your rocks off
off
X
, honey… ♪
♪ Get your rocks off Get your rocks off, honey… ♪
Get
your
rocks
off
Get
your
rocks
off
honey
-What do you want, Em? -Oh. Just a G&T, please. -What do you want, Em? -Oh. Just a G&T, please.
What
do
you
want
Em
Oh
Just
a
GT
please
Oh God, no. You're not in the pub now. Have a proper drink. Oh God, no. You're not in the pub now. Have a proper drink.
Oh
God
no
You're
not
in
the
pub
now
Have
a
proper
drink
-[bartender] Yes, sir? -Two martinis. Bombay Sapphire. -[bartender] Yes, sir? -Two martinis. Bombay Sapphire.
bartender
Yes
sir
Two
martinis
Bombay
Sapphire
-Very dry, with
with
X
a twist. -Prego.
-Very dry, with a twist. -Prego.
Very
dry
with
a
twist
Prego
Trust me. Best martinis in London. Trust me. Best martinis in London.
Trust
me
Best
martinis
in
London
Look. Look. Look. Look.
Look
Look
The trick is to
to
X
get everything really cold at
at
X
the start.
The trick is to get everything really cold at the start.
The
trick
is
to
get
everything
really
cold
at
the
start
-[ice cubes clink] -Ice water in the glass. -[ice cubes clink] -Ice water in the glass.
ice
cubes
clink
Ice
water
in
the
glass
Gin in the freezer. Gin in the freezer.
Gin
in
the
freezer
[cocktail shaker rattling] [cocktail shaker rattling]
cocktail
shaker
rattling
And how do you know all this? And how do you know all this?
And
how
do
you
know
all
this
My mom taught me when I was, like
like
X
, nine.
My mom taught me when I was, like, nine.
My
mom
taught
me
when
I
was
like
nine
Oh. [chuckles] Oh. [chuckles]
Oh
chuckles
Well, then. Well, then.
Well
then
To Alison. To Alison.
To
Alison
-That was nice. What was that for
for
X
? -I'm happy to
to
X
see you.
-That was nice. What was that for? -I'm happy to see you.
That
was
nice
What
was
that
for
I'm
happy
to
see
you
Mm. Mm.
Mm
Oh God. Oh God.
Oh
God
I've never had one of
of
X
these before
before
X
.
I've never had one of these before.
I've
never
had
one
of
these
before
It's like
like
X
getting punched in the face by
by
X
a drink.
It's like getting punched in the face by a drink.
It's
like
getting
punched
in
the
face
by
a
drink
Instant drunkenness, which is exactly what I need. Instant drunkenness, which is exactly what I need.
Instant
drunkenness
which
is
exactly
what
I
need
Oh? Oh?
Oh
-Oh God. I don't even know where to
to
X
start. -Don't start yet.
-Oh God. I don't even know where to start. -Don't start yet.
Oh
God
I
don't
even
know
where
to
start
Don't
start
yet
I'm just off
off
X
to
to
X
the loo. They're incredible here.
I'm just off to the loo. They're incredible here.
I'm
just
off
to
the
loo
They're
incredible
here
The best in
in
X
London.
The best in London.
The
best
in
London
♪ Get your rocks off
off
X
, honey ♪
♪ Get your rocks off, honey ♪
Get
your
rocks
off
honey
♪ Shake it now, now ♪ ♪ Shake it now, now ♪
Shake
it
now
now
♪ Get 'em off
off
X
downtown… ♪
♪ Get 'em off downtown… ♪
Get
'em
off
downtown
[patrons chatting and shouting] [patrons chatting and shouting]
patrons
chatting
and
shouting
-[seller] Cigarettes? -Huh? Oh. Um… -[seller] Cigarettes? -Huh? Oh. Um…
seller
Cigarettes
Huh
Oh
Um
[clicks tongue] [clicks tongue]
clicks
tongue
-Would you like
like
X
anything? -Oh. No, I'm sorry. I don't smoke.
-Would you like anything? -Oh. No, I'm sorry. I don't smoke.
Would
you
like
anything
Oh
No
I'm
sorry
I
don't
smoke
Thanks. Thanks.
Thanks
[Dexter] Hello, you. [Dexter] Hello, you.
Dexter
Hello
you
Cigarettes, sir? Cigarettes, sir?
Cigarettes
sir
-I'll have 20 reds, please. -Mm-hmm. -I'll have 20 reds, please. -Mm-hmm.
I'll
have
20
reds
please
Mm-hmm
Thank you. Keep the change. Thank you. Keep the change.
Thank
you
Keep
the
change
Cigarette girl. They're famous for
for
X
it here.
Cigarette girl. They're famous for it here.
Cigarette
girl
They're
famous
for
it
here
[scoffs] [scoffs]
scoffs
Mm. Come on
on
X
. Let's go to
to
X
our table.
Mm. Come on. Let's go to our table.
Mm
Come
on
Let's
go
to
our
table
-♪ Get your rocks off
off
X
♪ -Mm.
-♪ Get your rocks off ♪ -Mm.
Get
your
rocks
off
Mm
[energetic music playing] [energetic music playing]
energetic
music
playing
[woman laughs] [woman laughs]
woman
laughs
It's modern British. It's modern British.
It's
modern
British
I'm gonna have the oysters. I'm gonna have the oysters.
I'm
gonna
have
the
oysters
-They're natives, I think. -Ah. Are they friendly? -They're natives, I think. -Ah. Are they friendly?
They're
natives
I
think
Ah
Are
they
friendly
-What? -The natives. Are they friendly? -What? -The natives. Are they friendly?
What
The
natives
Are
they
friendly
-Ian's back. -Dexter. -Ian's back. -Dexter.
Ian's
back
Dexter
How is Mr. Ha Ha? How is Mr. Ha Ha?
How
is
Mr
Ha
Ha
It's a genuine question. It's a genuine question.
It's
a
genuine
question
Yeah. He's good. Yeah. He's good.
Yeah
He's
good
He's, um, got a gig tonight. He's, um, got a gig tonight.
He's
um
got
a
gig
tonight
And the flat's coming along
along
X
. We're on the ladder and all that.
And the flat's coming along. We're on the ladder and all that.
And
the
flat's
coming
along
We're
on
the
ladder
and
all
that
My parents are delighted. They love Ian. My parents are delighted. They love Ian.
My
parents
are
delighted
They
love
Ian
I think my mom might actually be in love with
with
X
him.
I think my mom might actually be in love with him.
I
think
my
mom
might
actually
be
in
love
with
him
[Dexter chuckles] [Dexter chuckles]
Dexter
chuckles
-How come I've never met your mom? -[Emma] Why would you? -How come I've never met your mom? -[Emma] Why would you?
How
come
I've
never
met
your
mom
Emma
Why
would
you
They've never visited me in
in
X
London. Not once. Well, till now.
They've never visited me in London. Not once. Well, till now.
They've
never
visited
me
in
London
Not
once
Well
till
now
Now that I've got a boyfriend and my own home, it's like
like
X
, "Ah."
Now that I've got a boyfriend and my own home, it's like, "Ah."
Now
that
I've
got
a
boyfriend
and
my
own
home
it's
like
Ah
"Now you make sense to
to
X
us."
"Now you make sense to us."
Now
you
make
sense
to
us
Mm. Mm.
Mm
My mom sends Ian packages. My dad rings him for
for
X
a chat.
My mom sends Ian packages. My dad rings him for a chat.
My
mom
sends
Ian
packages
My
dad
rings
him
for
a
chat
We're going on
on
X
a four-day walking holiday in the Dales in September.
We're going on a four-day walking holiday in the Dales in September.
We're
going
on
a
four-day
walking
holiday
in
the
Dales
in
September
It's quite, um, intense. Bit of
of
X
a runaway train.
It's quite, um, intense. Bit of a runaway train.
It's
quite
um
intense
Bit
of
a
runaway
train
-[waiter] What can I get you? -Uh… -[waiter] What can I get you? -Uh…
waiter
What
can
I
get
you
Uh
Twelve of
of
X
the native oysters, please.
Twelve of the native oysters, please.
Twelve
of
the
native
oysters
please
They're sweeter than
than
X
rock oysters, and they're more delicate.
They're sweeter than rock oysters, and they're more delicate.
They're
sweeter
than
rock
oysters
and
they're
more
delicate
I'll have the onglet, I'll have the onglet,
I'll
have
the
onglet
and one more dry martini. And… and one more dry martini. And…
and
one
more
dry
martini
And
Oh, um… Oh, um…
Oh
um
Uh, yeah. Just the cod and chips is fine, thanks. Uh, yeah. Just the cod and chips is fine, thanks.
Uh
yeah
Just
the
cod
and
chips
is
fine
thanks
You're very knowledgeable all of
of
X
a sudden.
You're very knowledgeable all of a sudden.
You're
very
knowledgeable
all
of
a
sudden
-Meaning? -You seem to
to
X
know a lot about
about
X
food.
-Meaning? -You seem to know a lot about food.
Meaning
You
seem
to
know
a
lot
about
food
I love food and wine. I eat out most days now. I love food and wine. I eat out most days now.
I
love
food
and
wine
I
eat
out
most
days
now
As a matter of
of
X
fact,
As a matter of fact,
As
a
matter
of
fact
I've been asked if I want to
to
X
review for
for
X
one of
of
X
the Sundays.
I've been asked if I want to review for one of the Sundays.
I've
been
asked
if
I
want
to
review
for
one
of
the
Sundays
Wow. Really? You're reviewing restaurants? Wow. Really? You're reviewing restaurants?
Wow
Really
You're
reviewing
restaurants
Uh, cocktail bars. Uh, cocktail bars.
Uh
cocktail
bars
They've given me a weekly column called "Barfly." They've given me a weekly column called "Barfly."
They've
given
me
a
weekly
column
called
Barfly
It's, uh, sort of
of
X
a man- about
about
X
-town kind of
of
X
thing.
It's, uh, sort of a man-about-town kind of thing.
It's
uh
sort
of
a
man-about-town
kind
of
thing
And you'd write it yourself? And you'd write it yourself?
And
you'd
write
it
yourself
Of course I'd write it myself. [chuckles] Of course I'd write it myself. [chuckles]
Of
course
I'd
write
it
myself
chuckles
Who else would write it? Who else would write it?
Who
else
would
write
it
Hmm. Red or white? Hmm. Red or white?
Hmm
Red
or
white
I think we should start with
with
X
I think we should start with
I
think
we
should
start
with
a nice biscuity Muscadet, a nice biscuity Muscadet,
a
nice
biscuity
Muscadet
and then a Margaux. and then a Margaux.
and
then
a
Margaux
[mumbles] [mumbles]
mumbles
Uh, how's Callum? Uh, how's Callum?
Uh
how's
Callum
Do you see much of
of
X
him, or…
Do you see much of him, or…
Do
you
see
much
of
him
or
No. No, not really. No. No, not really.
No
No
not
really
Uh, why force it? You know. We have nothing in common. Uh, why force it? You know. We have nothing in common.
Uh
why
force
it
You
know
We
have
nothing
in
common
I think it's important not to be too sentimental about
about
X
these things.
I think it's important not to be too sentimental about these things.
I
think
it's
important
not
to
be
too
sentimental
about
these
things
[patrons cheer] [patrons cheer]
patrons
cheer
I just love the vibe in
in
X
this place.
I just love the vibe in this place.
I
just
love
the
vibe
in
this
place
I mean, it's… it's… it's smart. I mean, it's… it's… it's smart.
I
mean
it's
it's
it's
smart
But a bit theatrical. But a bit theatrical.
But
a
bit
theatrical
-It's fun. -Is she having fun, do you think? -It's fun. -Is she having fun, do you think?
It's
fun
Is
she
having
fun
do
you
think
[Dexter] I don't know, Em. Are the waiters? [Dexter] I don't know, Em. Are the waiters?
Dexter
I
don't
know
Em
Are
the
waiters
The barman? The barman?
The
barman
It's a job. It's the same. It's a job. It's the same.
It's
a
job
It's
the
same
It's not quite the same. She's the only one showing her ass. It's not quite the same. She's the only one showing her ass.
It's
not
quite
the
same
She's
the
only
one
showing
her
ass
Well, what can I say? Maybe her woolly black tights are in
in
X
the wash.
Well, what can I say? Maybe her woolly black tights are in the wash.
Well
what
can
I
say
Maybe
her
woolly
black
tights
are
in
the
wash
Maybe she's enjoying it. Maybe she feels sexy in that outfit. Maybe she's enjoying it. Maybe she feels sexy in that outfit.
Maybe
she's
enjoying
it
Maybe
she
feels
sexy
in
that
outfit
-That's feminism, isn't it? -First wave or second? -That's feminism, isn't it? -First wave or second?
That's
feminism
isn't
it
First
wave
or
second
[sighs] [sighs]
sighs
Can we just not tonight? Can we just not tonight?
Can
we
just
not
tonight
[clears throat] [clears throat]
clears
throat
-I'd quite like
like
X
to
to
X
have a nice time. -Yeah. So would I.
-I'd quite like to have a nice time. -Yeah. So would I.
I'd
quite
like
to
have
a
nice
time
Yeah
So
would
I
[Dexter] Great. [Dexter] Great.
Dexter
Great
Well, Tilly's good. Well, Tilly's good.
Well
Tilly's
good
Yeah. She's lusting after
after
X
this guy from
from
X
Nottingham called Graham.
Yeah. She's lusting after this guy from Nottingham called Graham.
Yeah
She's
lusting
after
this
guy
from
Nottingham
called
Graham
-Acid House Graham, we call him-- -Back soon. -Acid House Graham, we call him-- -Back soon.
Acid
House
Graham
we
call
him-
Back
soon
[intense dance music playing] [intense dance music playing]
intense
dance
music
playing
[bell dings] [bell dings]
bell
dings
-[glass shatters] -[group cheers] -[glass shatters] -[group cheers]
glass
shatters
group
cheers
[exhales, clears throat] [exhales, clears throat]
exhales
clears
throat
Same again, please. Same again, please.
Same
again
please
More? Already? More? Already?
More
Already
What can I say? I'm like
like
X
one of
of
X
those beagles.
What can I say? I'm like one of those beagles.
What
can
I
say
I'm
like
one
of
those
beagles
[chuckles] [chuckles]
chuckles
-[Dexter] Just can't stop myself. -[seller laughs] -[Dexter] Just can't stop myself. -[seller laughs]
Dexter
Just
can't
stop
myself
seller
laughs
Thank you. Thank you.
Thank
you
Just out of
of
X
interest, what time do you finish today?
Just out of interest, what time do you finish today?
Just
out
of
interest
what
time
do
you
finish
today
-[chuckles] -[laughs] -[chuckles] -[laughs]
chuckles
laughs
[Dexter sniffles] [Dexter sniffles]
Dexter
sniffles
[exhales] [exhales]
exhales
Do you two know each other? Do you two know each other?
Do
you
two
know
each
other
Oh. No, no, no, no. Oh. No, no, no, no.
Oh
No
no
no
no
I just had to stock up
up
X
. There's a party later.
I just had to stock up. There's a party later.
I
just
had
to
stock
up
There's
a
party
later
[slurps] [slurps]
slurps
Mm. Mm.
Mm
My mate, Oliver. My mate, Oliver.
My
mate
Oliver
-I've told you about
about
X
him. He's a baronet. -Oh, and?
-I've told you about him. He's a baronet. -Oh, and?
I've
told
you
about
him
He's
a
baronet
Oh
and
What do you mean? What do you mean?
What
do
you
mean
What's that got to
to
X
do with
with
X
anything? Why mention it?
What's that got to do with anything? Why mention it?
What's
that
got
to
do
with
anything
Why
mention
it
Uh, to
to
X
identify him. [chuckles]
Uh, to identify him. [chuckles]
Uh
to
identify
him
chuckles
I know about
about
X
nine people called Oliver. Lemon?
I know about nine people called Oliver. Lemon?
I
know
about
nine
people
called
Oliver
Lemon
No, thanks. No, thanks.
No
thanks
[Dexter exhales] [Dexter exhales]
Dexter
exhales
So where's the party? So where's the party?
So
where's
the
party
[clears throat] Holland Park. [clears throat] Holland Park.
clears
throat
Holland
Park
Massive great house. Massive great house.
Massive
great
house
Everyone from
from
X
my show's gonna be there. Bands, actors.
Everyone from my show's gonna be there. Bands, actors.
Everyone
from
my
show's
gonna
be
there
Bands
actors
-You're, um… You're welcome to
to
X
come. -Mm. Sounds like
like
X
it.
-You're, um… You're welcome to come. -Mm. Sounds like it.
You're
um
You're
welcome
to
come
Mm
Sounds
like
it
No, of
of
X
course you are. It's just… You won't know anyone, that's all.
No, of course you are. It's just… You won't know anyone, that's all.
No
of
course
you
are
It's
just
You
won't
know
anyone
that's
all
I'll know you. I'll know you.
I'll
know
you
[seller] Having fun? [seller] Having fun?
seller
Having
fun
Hi. Hi.
Hi
-[Emma] And Suki. -Yeah. -[Emma] And Suki. -Yeah.
Emma
And
Suki
Yeah
Suki's doing really well, isn't she? Her new show is massive. Suki's doing really well, isn't she? Her new show is massive.
Suki's
doing
really
well
isn't
she
Her
new
show
is
massive
Yeah, we both are. Yeah, we both are.
Yeah
we
both
are
You know, I prefer doing the late-night stuff. You know, I prefer doing the late-night stuff.
You
know
I
prefer
doing
the
late-night
stuff
More edgy. More edgy.
More
edgy
How's it going? How's it going?
How's
it
going
-Everyone wants a piece. It's mad. -I meant with
with
X
the two of
of
X
you.
-Everyone wants a piece. It's mad. -I meant with the two of you.
Everyone
wants
a
piece
It's
mad
I
meant
with
the
two
of
you
Yeah, she's great. Yeah, she's great.
Yeah
she's
great
She gets it. She gets it.
She
gets
it
Gets what? Gets what?
Gets
what
Being on
on
X
telly.
Being on telly.
Being
on
telly
She… She… She understands. She… She… She understands.
She
She
She
understands
Well, that's romantic. Well, that's romantic.
Well
that's
romantic
[sighs] [sighs]
sighs
So this party, it's… You know. So this party, it's… You know.
So
this
party
it's
You
know
Uh… [smacks lips] Uh… [smacks lips]
Uh
smacks
lips
-I'm just worried about
about
X
you getting home. -It's okay, Dex. I get it.
-I'm just worried about you getting home. -It's okay, Dex. I get it.
I'm
just
worried
about
you
getting
home
It's
okay
Dex
I
get
it
No. No, I want you to
to
X
come. Of course I do.
No. No, I want you to come. Of course I do.
No
No
I
want
you
to
come
Of
course
I
do
Let's play it by
by
X
ear, yeah?
Let's play it by ear, yeah?
Let's
play
it
by
ear
yeah
-Yeah, okay. -[sniffles] Just a sec. -Yeah, okay. -[sniffles] Just a sec.
Yeah
okay
sniffles
Just
a
sec
["Glorybox" by
by
X
Portishead playing]
["Glorybox" by Portishead playing]
Glorybox
by
Portishead
playing
[sizzling] [sizzling]
sizzling
♪ I'm so tired ♪ ♪ I'm so tired ♪
I'm
so
tired
♪ Of playing ♪ ♪ Of playing ♪
Of
playing
♪ Playing with
with
X
this bow and arrow ♪
♪ Playing with this bow and arrow ♪
Playing
with
this
bow
and
arrow
♪ Gonna give my heart away ♪ ♪ Gonna give my heart away ♪
Gonna
give
my
heart
away
♪ Leave it to
to
X
the other girls to
to
X
play ♪
♪ Leave it to the other girls to play ♪
Leave
it
to
the
other
girls
to
play
♪ For I've been a temptress too long ♪ ♪ For I've been a temptress too long ♪
For
I've
been
a
temptress
too
long
[woman] Love the show, Dex. [woman] Love the show, Dex.
woman
Love
the
show
Dex
Thank you. Thank you.
Thank
you
♪ Give me a reason to
to
X
love you ♪
♪ Give me a reason to love you ♪
Give
me
a
reason
to
love
you
[exhales] [exhales]
exhales
♪ Give me a reason… ♪ ♪ Give me a reason… ♪
Give
me
a
reason
[Dexter] Got a tutorial? [Dexter] Got a tutorial?
Dexter
Got
a
tutorial
[Dexter sighs] [Dexter sighs]
Dexter
sighs
-How's your steak? -Sensational. -How's your steak? -Sensational.
How's
your
steak
Sensational
Yeah. Really rare. Yeah. Really rare.
Yeah
Really
rare
-How's the fish? -Cold. -How's the fish? -Cold.
How's
the
fish
Cold
It's opaque. That's how fish is supposed to
to
X
be cooked. So it turns opaque.
It's opaque. That's how fish is supposed to be cooked. So it turns opaque.
It's
opaque
That's
how
fish
is
supposed
to
be
cooked
So
it
turns
opaque
Dexter, it's opaque because it's been deep-frozen. Dexter, it's opaque because it's been deep-frozen.
Dexter
it's
opaque
because
it's
been
deep-frozen
It hasn't been fully defrosted. It hasn't been fully defrosted.
It
hasn't
been
fully
defrosted
Is it? Is it?
Is
it
Are you… [scoffs] Are you… [scoffs]
Are
you
scoffs
I'm not paying for
for
X
fucking Birds Eye fucking frozen fish. Hey!
I'm not paying for fucking Birds Eye fucking frozen fish. Hey!
I'm
not
paying
for
fucking
Birds
Eye
fucking
frozen
fish
Hey
Can you take this off
off
X
the bill? It's not cooked. And we'll see the menu.
Can you take this off the bill? It's not cooked. And we'll see the menu.
Can
you
take
this
off
the
bill
It's
not
cooked
And
we'll
see
the
menu
-I'm fine. -[Dexter] It's not fine. -I'm fine. -[Dexter] It's not fine.
I'm
fine
Dexter
It's
not
fine
-You need a main course. -I'm really not hungry. -You need a main course. -I'm really not hungry.
You
need
a
main
course
I'm
really
not
hungry
Can you just get something? They're not gonna understand if you don't. Can you just get something? They're not gonna understand if you don't.
Can
you
just
get
something
They're
not
gonna
understand
if
you
don't
A green salad, please. A green salad, please.
A
green
salad
please
This is going well. This is going well.
This
is
going
well
[sighs] [sighs]
sighs
What? What?
What
What have I done? Hmm. What have I done? Hmm.
What
have
I
done
Hmm
What have I done now? What have I done now?
What
have
I
done
now
Can we just… Can we just go back to
to
X
what we were talking about
about
X
before
before
X
?
Can we just… Can we just go back to what we were talking about before?
Can
we
just
Can
we
just
go
back
to
what
we
were
talking
about
before
Ian, your mom. Ian, your mom.
Ian
your
mom
Let's not. Let's not.
Let's
not
Fine. Then tell me something new. Fine. Then tell me something new.
Fine
Then
tell
me
something
new
Uh, your writing. How's the play? Uh, your writing. How's the play?
Uh
your
writing
How's
the
play
-It's a novel. -[Dexter] A novel? -It's a novel. -[Dexter] A novel?
It's
a
novel
Dexter
A
novel
Last time I saw you, you were writing a play. Last time I saw you, you were writing a play.
Last
time
I
saw
you
you
were
writing
a
play
Yeah, but
but
X
it wasn't working, so I moved on
on
X
.
Yeah, but it wasn't working, so I moved on.
Yeah
but
it
wasn't
working
so
I
moved
on
Okay. [sighs] Okay. [sighs]
Okay
sighs
-Meaning? -It's just… -Meaning? -It's just…
Meaning
It's
just
-Never mind. -No, come on
on
X
. What?
-Never mind. -No, come on. What?
Never
mind
No
come
on
What
What's the point starting things if you're never gonna finish them? What's the point starting things if you're never gonna finish them?
What's
the
point
starting
things
if
you're
never
gonna
finish
them
-[mutters] -I mean, seriously, Em. Huh? -[mutters] -I mean, seriously, Em. Huh?
mutters
I
mean
seriously
Em
Huh
Have you finished anything since
since
X
, what? The year after
after
X
we left Edinburgh?
Have you finished anything since, what? The year after we left Edinburgh?
Have
you
finished
anything
since
what
The
year
after
we
left
Edinburgh
I've got this friend, okay? She's a screenwriter. I've got this friend, okay? She's a screenwriter.
I've
got
this
friend
okay
She's
a
screenwriter
She's super successful. She says if you're talking about
about
X
writing,
She's super successful. She says if you're talking about writing,
She's
super
successful
She
says
if
you're
talking
about
writing
then you're not writing. Either you're writing or you're not. then you're not writing. Either you're writing or you're not.
then
you're
not
writing
Either
you're
writing
or
you're
not
-Do it or don't do it. -[Emma] Wow. -Do it or don't do it. -[Emma] Wow.
Do
it
or
don't
do
it
Emma
Wow
Thanks, Dexter, for
for
X
that valuable tip.
Thanks, Dexter, for that valuable tip.
Thanks
Dexter
for
that
valuable
tip
The thing is, maybe your friend doesn't also work full-time, The thing is, maybe your friend doesn't also work full-time,
The
thing
is
maybe
your
friend
doesn't
also
work
full-time
so she may not understand it's not quite as
as
X
simple as
as
X
that.
so she may not understand it's not quite as simple as that.
so
she
may
not
understand
it's
not
quite
as
simple
as
that
[chuckles] Is that the issue? [chuckles] Is that the issue?
chuckles
Is
that
the
issue
Come on
on
X
, Em. That's not the issue.
Come on, Em. That's not the issue.
Come
on
Em
That's
not
the
issue
-But you don't wanna hear it. -Hear what? -But you don't wanna hear it. -Hear what?
But
you
don't
wanna
hear
it
Hear
what
Look, it's your life. Look, it's your life.
Look
it's
your
life
Okay? But if you ever wanna get out of
of
X
teaching--
Okay? But if you ever wanna get out of teaching--
Okay
But
if
you
ever
wanna
get
out
of
teaching-
-Why would I want to
to
X
get out? -You're shouting.
-Why would I want to get out? -You're shouting.
Why
would
I
want
to
get
out
You're
shouting
-I'm a bloody good teacher. -Yep. No doubt. -I'm a bloody good teacher. -Yep. No doubt.
I'm
a
bloody
good
teacher
Yep
No
doubt
[song ends] [song ends]
song
ends
You know what they say about
about
X
teaching, right?
You know what they say about teaching, right?
You
know
what
they
say
about
teaching
right
No, Dex. No, Dex.
No
Dex
I'm not familiar. What do they say? I'm not familiar. What do they say?
I'm
not
familiar
What
do
they
say
[sighs] [sighs]
sighs
Those who can, do. Those who can, do.
Those
who
can
do
Those who can't… Those who can't…
Those
who
can't
-Say, "Fuck yourself, Dexter!" -Jesus Christ! -Say, "Fuck yourself, Dexter!" -Jesus Christ!
Say
Fuck
yourself
Dexter
Jesus
Christ
[patrons murmuring] [patrons murmuring]
patrons
murmuring
Shit! Shit!
Shit
[groans] [groans]
groans
-No more martinis for
for
X
you. -Get off
off
X
me.
-No more martinis for you. -Get off me.
No
more
martinis
for
you
Get
off
me
-Are you okay? -[crying] Yeah. -Are you okay? -[crying] Yeah.
Are
you
okay
crying
Yeah
[sighs] [sighs]
sighs
[somber music playing] [somber music playing]
somber
music
playing
[whistling in distance] [whistling in distance]
whistling
in
distance
Emma! Emma, come on
on
X
.
Emma! Emma, come on.
Emma
Emma
come
on
-[groans] Come on
on
X
. Come on
on
X
. -The night's over
over
X
, Dexter. I'm going home.
-[groans] Come on. Come on. -The night's over, Dexter. I'm going home.
groans
Come
on
Come
on
The
night's
over
Dexter
I'm
going
home
Whatever it is I've done, I'm sorry. Whatever you are angry about
about
X
--
Whatever it is I've done, I'm sorry. Whatever you are angry about--
Whatever
it
is
I've
done
I'm
sorry
Whatever
you
are
angry
about-
-You don't know? -No, I don't know! -You don't know? -No, I don't know!
You
don't
know
No
I
don't
know
I don't know. So can you please just… just chill the fuck out? I don't know. So can you please just… just chill the fuck out?
I
don't
know
So
can
you
please
just
just
chill
the
fuck
out
We can go somewhere and calm down
down
X
. We're both a bit pissed.
We can go somewhere and calm down. We're both a bit pissed.
We
can
go
somewhere
and
calm
down
We're
both
a
bit
pissed
No, you're pissed. No, you're pissed.
No
you're
pissed
You're always drunk or off
off
X
your face on
on
X
something every single time I see you.
You're always drunk or off your face on something every single time I see you.
You're
always
drunk
or
off
your
face
on
something
every
single
time
I
see
you
Do you realize I haven't seen you sober for
for
X
about
about
X
three years?
Do you realize I haven't seen you sober for about three years?
Do
you
realize
I
haven't
seen
you
sober
for
about
three
years
I don't remember what you're like
like
X
sober.
I don't remember what you're like sober.
I
don't
remember
what
you're
like
sober
And running to
to
X
the loo every ten minutes. I don't know if it's dysentery or coke,
And running to the loo every ten minutes. I don't know if it's dysentery or coke,
And
running
to
the
loo
every
ten
minutes
I
don't
know
if
it's
dysentery
or
coke
but
but
X
either way, it's fucking rude. And most of
of
X
all, it's boring.
but either way, it's fucking rude. And most of all, it's boring.
but
either
way
it's
fucking
rude
And
most
of
all
it's
boring
Even if you are there, it's in
in
X
body only.
Even if you are there, it's in body only.
Even
if
you
are
there
it's
in
body
only
The whole time you're looking over
over
X
my shoulder for
for
X
a better option.
The whole time you're looking over my shoulder for a better option.
The
whole
time
you're
looking
over
my
shoulder
for
a
better
option
-Not true. -"This one's a baronet." -Not true. -"This one's a baronet."
Not
true
This
one's
a
baronet
"This one's got a bloody great house." It's such bollocks, Dexter. "This one's got a bloody great house." It's such bollocks, Dexter.
This
one's
got
a
bloody
great
house
It's
such
bollocks
Dexter
[sniffles] Okay, you're a TV presenter. [sniffles] Okay, you're a TV presenter.
sniffles
Okay
you're
a
TV
presenter
You've not invented penicillin, broken a deadlock on
on
X
the security council.
You've not invented penicillin, broken a deadlock on the security council.
You've
not
invented
penicillin
broken
a
deadlock
on
the
security
council
It's TV, and it's crap TV at that. Well, sod it. I've had enough. It's TV, and it's crap TV at that. Well, sod it. I've had enough.
It's
TV
and
it's
crap
TV
at
that
Well
sod
it
I've
had
enough
Look, can we go somewhere and talk about
about
X
this?
Look, can we go somewhere and talk about this?
Look
can
we
go
somewhere
and
talk
about
this
-I don't wanna talk about
about
X
it. -Stop. It's me!
-I don't wanna talk about it. -Stop. It's me!
I
don't
wanna
talk
about
it
Stop
It's
me
It's me. Please, just come here. It's me. Please, just come here.
It's
me
Please
just
come
here
-[Emma sniffles] -[sighs] -[Emma sniffles] -[sighs]
Emma
sniffles
sighs
Why are you being like
like
X
this, Dexter?
Why are you being like this, Dexter?
Why
are
you
being
like
this
Dexter
-I'm just being myself. -No, you're not. -I'm just being myself. -No, you're not.
I'm
just
being
myself
No
you're
not
I know what you're like
like
X
. This isn't you.
I know what you're like. This isn't you.
I
know
what
you're
like
This
isn't
you
You're horrible like
like
X
this, Dexter. You're obnoxious.
You're horrible like this, Dexter. You're obnoxious.
You're
horrible
like
this
Dexter
You're
obnoxious
You always were a bit obnoxious, every now and then. You always were a bit obnoxious, every now and then.
You
always
were
a
bit
obnoxious
every
now
and
then
A bit full of
of
X
yourself. But you were funny too,
A bit full of yourself. But you were funny too,
A
bit
full
of
yourself
But
you
were
funny
too
and kind sometimes, and interested in people other than
than
X
yourself.
and kind sometimes, and interested in people other than yourself.
and
kind
sometimes
and
interested
in
people
other
than
yourself
-[quietly] I'm just having fun. -I know. -[quietly] I'm just having fun. -I know.
quietly
I'm
just
having
fun
I
know
I know you've been through
through
X
a lot in
in
X
the last few years with
with
X
your mom.
I know you've been through a lot in the last few years with your mom.
I
know
you've
been
through
a
lot
in
the
last
few
years
with
your
mom
I've tried to
to
X
understand that. Really, I have, but
but
X
I've tried to understand that. Really, I have, but
I've
tried
to
understand
that
Really
I
have
but
you're just not the person I used to
to
X
know.
you're just not the person I used to know.
you're
just
not
the
person
I
used
to
know
We're not friends anymore, Dex. We're just not. We're not friends anymore, Dex. We're just not.
We're
not
friends
anymore
Dex
We're
just
not
-You're always canceling and postponing. -Or you are. -You're always canceling and postponing. -Or you are.
You're
always
canceling
and
postponing
Or
you
are
But tonight, there was stuff I needed to talk to you about
about
X
.
But tonight, there was stuff I needed to talk to you about.
But
tonight
there
was
stuff
I
needed
to
talk
to
you
about
About Ian and me. About Ian and me.
About
Ian
and
me
But I can't talk to
to
X
you anymore, and if I can't,
But I can't talk to you anymore, and if I can't,
But
I
can't
talk
to
you
anymore
and
if
I
can't
then what's the point of
of
X
this?
then what's the point of this?
then
what's
the
point
of
this
Maybe it's just done. Maybe it's just done.
Maybe
it's
just
done
-What's done? -Us. -What's done? -Us.
What's
done
Us
The friendship. The friendship.
The
friendship
You said it yourself. There's no point getting sentimental about
about
X
it.
You said it yourself. There's no point getting sentimental about it.
You
said
it
yourself
There's
no
point
getting
sentimental
about
it
-Move on. One in, one out. -Oh, I wasn't talking about
about
X
us.
-Move on. One in, one out. -Oh, I wasn't talking about us.
Move
on
One
in
one
out
Oh
I
wasn't
talking
about
us
I mean, we're Dex and Em. Aren't we? I mean, we're Dex and Em. Aren't we?
I
mean
we're
Dex
and
Em
Aren't
we
No. You used to
to
X
make me feel good about
about
X
myself.
No. You used to make me feel good about myself.
No
You
used
to
make
me
feel
good
about
myself
But now you make me feel like
like
X
shit.
But now you make me feel like shit.
But
now
you
make
me
feel
like
shit
Like I'm not cool enough or interesting enough or ambitious enough. Like I'm not cool enough or interesting enough or ambitious enough.
Like
I'm
not
cool
enough
or
interesting
enough
or
ambitious
enough
-I don't think that. -Well, good. 'Cause it's bollocks. -I don't think that. -Well, good. 'Cause it's bollocks.
I
don't
think
that
Well
good
'Cause
it's
bollocks
I am cool and interesting and ambitious. I am cool and interesting and ambitious.
I
am
cool
and
interesting
and
ambitious
In fact, I'm fucking great, and you used to think so too. [sniffles] In fact, I'm fucking great, and you used to think so too. [sniffles]
In
fact
I'm
fucking
great
and
you
used
to
think
so
too
sniffles
If you don't, fine. I'm not up
up
X
for
for
X
being treated like
like
X
an obligation.
If you don't, fine. I'm not up for being treated like an obligation.
If
you
don't
fine
I'm
not
up
for
being
treated
like
an
obligation
Like a chore. Like you always want to
to
X
be somewhere else with
with
X
someone else.
Like a chore. Like you always want to be somewhere else with someone else.
Like
a
chore
Like
you
always
want
to
be
somewhere
else
with
someone
else
Sometimes I just get a bit carried away, all right? Sometimes I just get a bit carried away, all right?
Sometimes
I
just
get
a
bit
carried
away
all
right
If you weren't so judgmental all the time. If you weren't so judgmental all the time.
If
you
weren't
so
judgmental
all
the
time
-Am I? -Yeah. -Am I? -Yeah.
Am
I
Yeah
Well, I… Well, I…
Well
I
I… I don't think I am. Well, I… I try not to
to
X
be.
I… I don't think I am. Well, I… I try not to be.
I
I
don't
think
I
am
Well
I
I
try
not
to
be
Yeah. Well, you are. Yeah. Well, you are.
Yeah
Well
you
are
And patronizing. And patronizing.
And
patronizing
And… censorious. And… censorious.
And
censorious
-Censorious? -You're doing it again! -Censorious? -You're doing it again!
Censorious
You're
doing
it
again
What am I doing? What am I doing?
What
am
I
doing
"Censorious?" Like, "How could he know that word?" "Censorious?" Like, "How could he know that word?"
Censorious
Like
How
could
he
know
that
word
Because I'm so thick. Because I'm so thick.
Because
I'm
so
thick
Such a lunk. Such a lunk.
Such
a
lunk
So beneath
beneath
X
you.
So beneath you.
So
beneath
you
"How could he ever possibly write his own column?" "How could he ever possibly write his own column?"
How
could
he
ever
possibly
write
his
own
column
"I'm Emma Morley. I got a first." "I'm Emma Morley. I got a first."
I'm
Emma
Morley
I
got
a
first
-What the fuck are you talking about
about
X
? -So fucking what, Em?
-What the fuck are you talking about? -So fucking what, Em?
What
the
fuck
are
you
talking
about
So
fucking
what
Em
'Cause here in the real world, I'm actually doing really well. 'Cause here in the real world, I'm actually doing really well.
'Cause
here
in
the
real
world
I'm
actually
doing
really
well
And all you ever do is mock it. And all you ever do is mock it.
And
all
you
ever
do
is
mock
it
But, you know, But, you know,
But
you
know
envy is the tax you pay on
on
X
success and all that.
envy is the tax you pay on success and all that.
envy
is
the
tax
you
pay
on
success
and
all
that
[ under
under
X
breath] Wow.
[under breath] Wow.
under
breath
Wow
Is that really what you think is going on
on
X
here?
Is that really what you think is going on here?
Is
that
really
what
you
think
is
going
on
here
-Fuck this. -No. I… -Fuck this. -No. I…
Fuck
this
No
I
Listen. I remember when we were 22, and you said, Listen. I remember when we were 22, and you said,
Listen
I
remember
when
we
were
22
and
you
said
"What do you wanna be when you're 40?" And I said, "Rich and famous," "What do you wanna be when you're 40?" And I said, "Rich and famous,"
What
do
you
wanna
be
when
you're
40
And
I
said
Rich
and
famous
and you took the piss. and you took the piss.
and
you
took
the
piss
Fine. Fine.
Fine
But I did it. But I did it.
But
I
did
it
I actually did what I said I was gonna do. I actually did what I said I was gonna do.
I
actually
did
what
I
said
I
was
gonna
do
I may not be 40 yet, but
but
X
I made it happen.
I may not be 40 yet, but I made it happen.
I
may
not
be
40
yet
but
I
made
it
happen
And you? And you?
And
you
What? What?
What
You haven't, Em. You haven't, Em.
You
haven't
Em
I don't know what you said you wanted from
from
X
this world,
I don't know what you said you wanted from this world,
I
don't
know
what
you
said
you
wanted
from
this
world
but
but
X
I'm sure this wasn't it.
but I'm sure this wasn't it.
but
I'm
sure
this
wasn't
it
"This"? "This"?
This
Throwing your lot in with
with
X
someone who adores you, who you don't love.
Throwing your lot in with someone who adores you, who you don't love.
Throwing
your
lot
in
with
someone
who
adores
you
who
you
don't
love
Am I wrong? Am I wrong?
Am
I
wrong
[scoffs] [scoffs]
scoffs
Bye, Dex. Bye, Dex.
Bye
Dex
Emma. Emma.
Emma
[Emma] I'm sorry. I can't do this anymore. [Emma] I'm sorry. I can't do this anymore.
Emma
I'm
sorry
I
can't
do
this
anymore
[Dexter] Emma! [Dexter] Emma!
Dexter
Emma
[somber string music playing] [somber string music playing]
somber
string
music
playing
[inhales sharply] [inhales sharply]
inhales
sharply
[sighs] [sighs]
sighs
[quietly] Ah, shit. [quietly] Ah, shit.
quietly
Ah
shit
[dog barking in distance] [dog barking in distance]
dog
barking
in
distance
[man on TV] Yes, he was telling the truth. But only part of
of
X
it.
[man on TV] Yes, he was telling the truth. But only part of it.
man
on
TV
Yes
he
was
telling
the
truth
But
only
part
of
it
His master is indeed, as you rightly said, a monster. His master is indeed, as you rightly said, a monster.
His
master
is
indeed
as
you
rightly
said
a
monster
-He's also a vampire. -Hmm. You're back early. -He's also a vampire. -Hmm. You're back early.
He's
also
a
vampire
Hmm
You're
back
early
How was Terry Wogan? How was Terry Wogan?
How
was
Terry
Wogan
Awful. [sighs] Awful. [sighs]
Awful
sighs
Why? What happened? Why? What happened?
Why
What
happened
I don't wanna talk about
about
X
it.
I don't wanna talk about it.
I
don't
wanna
talk
about
it
How was the gig? How was the gig?
How
was
the
gig
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm
-Did you do the cats and dogs thing? -Yep. -Did you do the cats and dogs thing? -Yep.
Did
you
do
the
cats
and
dogs
thing
Yep
Was there heckling? Was there heckling?
Was
there
heckling
-Yeah, a little bit. -Mm. -Yeah, a little bit. -Mm.
Yeah
a
little
bit
Mm
Maybe it's not your best material. Maybe it's not your best material.
Maybe
it's
not
your
best
material
-A bit of
of
X
booing, actually, tonight. -Booing?
-A bit of booing, actually, tonight. -Booing?
A
bit
of
booing
actually
tonight
Booing
Oh. Oh.
Oh
-That's just part of
of
X
it, though, isn't it? -Mm.
-That's just part of it, though, isn't it? -Mm.
That's
just
part
of
it
though
isn't
it
Mm
Suppose so. Suppose so.
Suppose
so
I suppose sometimes I just worry. I suppose sometimes I just worry.
I
suppose
sometimes
I
just
worry
What? What?
What
That I might not be very funny. That I might not be very funny.
That
I
might
not
be
very
funny
Ian. Ian.
Ian
Oui? Oui?
Oui
You are a very, very funny man. You are a very, very funny man.
You
are
a
very
very
funny
man
[chuckles softly] Thanks, Em. [chuckles softly] Thanks, Em.
chuckles
softly
Thanks
Em
["The Wild Ones" by
by
X
Suede playing]
["The Wild Ones" by Suede playing]
The
Wild
Ones
by
Suede
playing
♪ Mmm, there's a song playing ♪ ♪ Mmm, there's a song playing ♪
Mmm
there's
a
song
playing
♪ On the radio ♪ ♪ On the radio ♪
On
the
radio
♪ Sky high in
in
X
the airwaves ♪
♪ Sky high in the airwaves ♪
Sky
high
in
the
airwaves
♪ On the morning show ♪ ♪ On the morning show ♪
On
the
morning
show
♪ And there's a lifeline slippin' ♪ ♪ And there's a lifeline slippin' ♪
And
there's
a
lifeline
slippin'
♪ As the record plays ♪ ♪ As the record plays ♪
As
the
record
plays
♪ As I open the blinds ♪ ♪ As I open the blinds ♪
As
I
open
the
blinds
♪ In my mind, I'm believing ♪ ♪ In my mind, I'm believing ♪
In
my
mind
I'm
believing
♪ That you could stay ♪ ♪ That you could stay ♪
That
you
could
stay
♪ And oh, if you stay ♪ ♪ And oh, if you stay ♪
And
oh
if
you
stay
♪ Well, I'll chase The rain-blown fears away ♪ ♪ Well, I'll chase The rain-blown fears away ♪
Well
I'll
chase
The
rain-blown
fears
away
♪ We'll shine like
like
X
the morning ♪
♪ We'll shine like the morning ♪
We'll
shine
like
the
morning
♪ And sin in the sun ♪ ♪ And sin in the sun ♪
And
sin
in
the
sun
♪ Oh, if you stay ♪ ♪ Oh, if you stay ♪
Oh
if
you
stay

/

words

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