Watch and Learn - Did Maduro's Dancing Prompt Trump To Attack Venezuela? | No Regime Change

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Welcome one and all to the late show. I

Welcome one and all to the late show I

your host Steven Colbert. Ladies and

your host Steven Colbert Ladies and

gentlemen,

gentlemen

first of all, first of all, my friends,

first of all first of all my friends

my friends, happy new year. 2026.

my friends happy new year 2026

2026 started with a bang and a boom

because on it started the night of the

second, right? On the night of January

second right On the night of January

2nd, before Anderson and Andy really had

2nd before Anderson and Andy really had

time to sober up,

time to sober up

this happened.

this happened

>> An astonishing move by President Donald

Trump. A surprise attack on Venezuela

Trump A surprise attack on Venezuela

where the country saw elite US forces

capture the Venezuelan President

Nicolás Maduro and his wife in a brazen

large-scale strike overnight. The massive

large-scale strike overnight The massive

assault inside Venezuela. New images of

assault inside Venezuela New images of

US forces attacking.

US forces attacking

Explosions lighting up the night sky.

Explosions lighting up the night sky

That country's leader, Nicolás Maduro,

That country's leader Nicolás Maduro

captured by US forces.

captured by US forces

>> Do you know what this means?

>> Do you know what this means

Those Epstein files must be crazy.

Those Epstein files must be crazy

I mean,

I mean

[Applause]

Applause

bomb something.

bomb something

BOMB ANYTHING.

BOMB ANYTHING

This operation launched just two days

into the new year came as a shock,

into the new year came as a shock

especially since, and this is true,

especially since and this is true

Trump's New Year's resolution was peace

on Earth.

on Earth

Well, that didn't last long. And as a

Well that didn't last long And as a

result, neither did my resolution to

result neither did my resolution to

switch to clear liquor.

switch to clear liquor

>> Oh,

>> Oh

I forgot.

I forgot

Uh, I forgot that's not a prop. Okay,

Uh I forgot that's not a prop Okay

so uh, let me catch up. Here's the Tik

so uh let me catch up Here's the Tik

Tok on the debrief. Friday evening uh

Tok on the debrief Friday evening uh

quarter zero dark midnight US armed

forces launched a kinetic sort of 150

aircraft against Venezuelan military

targets and then landed forces to

capture Venezuelan dictator Nicholas

Maduro and his wife Celia Flores in what

Pete Hegseth's Department of Defense called

Operation Absolute Resolve, which I

Operation Absolute Resolve which I

believe for Hegseth is two parts

absolute

one part resolve carpet cleaner

Get those tough stains out of

your liver. Now, for the record, Maduro

your liver Now for the record Maduro

is not a good guy. He and his wife were

is not a good guy He and his wife were

charged with drug trafficking and narco-

charged with drug trafficking and narco

terrorism, which lately has been a fast

terrorism which lately has been a fast

track to a pardon. But after after the

track to a pardon But after after the

capture, Trump uh shared this striking

capture Trump uh shared this striking

image of Maduro en route to the United

States. Look at that. That is shocking.

States Look at that That is shocking

He is a ruthless dictator and they still

gave him a full bottle of water. And yet

gave him a full bottle of water And yet

I always get the little plastic cup. Do

I always get the little plastic cup Do

better, Delta.

better Delta

Maduro.

Maduro

Maduro and his wife have been sent to a

detention center in Brooklyn that has

been described as inhumane and hell on

earth. To which New Yorker said, "Okay,

earth To which New Yorker said Okay

but is it walkable to a train? Because

but is it walkable to a train Because

if so, we should at least go see it.

if so we should at least go see it

You know, new wallpaper.

You know new wallpaper

For months, the US has been threatening

For months the US has been threatening

Venezuela. So, why suddenly decide to

Venezuela So why suddenly decide to

snatch their president in what appears

to be a violation of United States and

international law? Well, uh, in an

international law Well uh in an

international military conflict of this

kind, there there many factors to

kind there there many factors to

consider, but reportedly the last straw

consider but reportedly the last straw

was Maduro's regular public dancing.

was Maduro's regular public dancing

Okay,

Okay

that's a new one.

that's a new one

Let's take a look at the Buddha shake

that launched a thousand ships.

that launched a thousand ships

[Music]

Music

>> Okay, let this to be a warning to every

>> Okay let this to be a warning to every

uncle at a wedding.

uncle at a wedding

Delta Force will take you out.

Delta Force will take you out

This isn't the first time the US has

taken military action because of bad

dancing. We all remember this dark day.

dancing We all remember this dark day

>> 9/11 locked.

>> 9/11 locked

>> All

All six flags flew at half staff.

All six flags flew at half staff

>> But before Trump addressed the American

people about the strike, he informed the

people about the strike he informed the

nation's highest constitutional officers

Fox and Friends weekend. Ivonne,

Fox and Friends weekend Ivonne

>> if you would have seen what happened, I

>> if you would have seen what happened I

mean, I watched it literally like I was

mean I watched it literally like I was

watching a television show and uh if you

would have seen the the speed, the

would have seen the the speed the

violence, you know, they say that the

violence you know they say that the

speed, the violence.

speed the violence

>> Yes, the speed

>> Yes the speed

and the violence,

and the violence

which is what your mom says when she

can't remember. The fast and the

can't remember The fast and the

furious.

furious

>> Yes, we watched that movie, Bill, didn't

>> Yes we watched that movie Bill didn't

we? We watched the the movie you wanted

we We watched the the movie you wanted

us to watch, kids. We watched that

us to watch kids We watched that

movie, The Speed and the Violence last

movie The Speed and the Violence last

night. Then we watched uh uh Hobbs and

night Then we watched uh uh Hobbs and

Shaw Shank starring what's his name?

Shaw Shank starring what's his name

Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson.

Dwayne The Rock Johnson

We have a photo of Trump watching the

action go down in a Mara Lago ballroom.

action go down in a Mara Lago ballroom

Apparently, they threw up some pipe and

Apparently they threw up some pipe and

drape uh cuz they were sharing the space

with caterers for the Meerson wedding.

with caterers for the Meerson wedding

I want to point out that

on the screen in the background of that

photo is a Twitter search for Venezuela.

photo is a Twitter search for Venezuela

That's how they were just

searching Twitter. But of course that's

searching Twitter But of course that's

not surprise. Conveying the realities of

not surprise Conveying the realities of

war has always been best achieved on

social media. As Oppenheimer famously

social media As Oppenheimer famously

said, "I have become #death link in

said I have become #death link in

bio."

bio

All that action. All that action. The

All that action All that action The

all night, the overnight boom-booms must

all night the overnight boom-booms must

have been a lot for all uh pudding pants

because when Trump finally held a press

conference to announce the strikes, he

conference to announce the strikes he

took a little snooze behind General Dan

Kaine. But clearly Trump's healthy as a

Kaine But clearly Trump's healthy as a

horse because they also sleep standing

up.

So now, really, that's the one that's

So now really that's the one that's

the one.

the one

So, now that the president of Venezuela

So now that the president of Venezuela

has been renditioned to the Gowanus

Expressway,

Expressway

everyone's got one question.

everyone's got one question

>> Who will run Venezuela? Who will run the

>> Who will run Venezuela Who will run the

country?

country

>> So, who is going to run Venezuela?

>> So who is going to run Venezuela

>> Well, we still don't know for sure, but

>> Well we still don't know for sure but

chances are it's going to come down to

either Paramount or Netflix.

either Paramount or Netflix

All right. Lot of money on the line. Lot

All right Lot of money on the line Lot

of money on the line. I'm happy with

of money on the line I'm happy with

either one. I got no dog in this fight.

either one I got no dog in this fight

Of course, Trump has his plan. We're

Of course Trump has his plan We're

going to run the country until such time

as we can do a safe, proper, and

as we can do a safe proper and

judicious

transition.

transition

>> Oh,

>> Oh

so this country and Venezuela.

so this country and Venezuela

Evidently, when he says America first,

Evidently when he says America first

he means alphabetically.

he means alphabetically

That's crazy. He can't run two countries

That's crazy He can't run two countries

at once. He can't even run.

at once He can't even run

Many had thought. MANY HAS

Many had thought MANY HAS

MANY many had thought the country would

be now led by opposition leader and

Nobel Prize winner Maria Karina Machado.

Nobel Prize winner Maria Karina Machado

But Trump refused to back Machado, which

But Trump refused to back Machado which

sources close to the White House said

stemmed from her decision to accept the

Nobel Peace Prize, claiming that if if

Nobel Peace Prize claiming that if if

she had turned it down and said, "I

she had turned it down and said I

can't accept it because it's Donald

Trump's," she'd be the president of

Trump's she'd be the president of

Venezuela today. But don't worry. No,

Venezuela today But don't worry No

no, no. Do not worry, Miss Machado. You

no no Do not worry Miss Machado You

can fix this simply by promising to

change the name of the country to the

Donald J. Trump memorial Venezuela

Donald J Trump memorial Venezuela

and gift shop.

and gift shop

Where was I? Okay. Right now, uh, the

Where was I Okay Right now uh the

leader of Venezuela is Deli Rodriguez,

leader of Venezuela is Deli Rodriguez

who is Maduro's vice president. So,

who is Maduro's vice president So

technically, it's not regime change,

technically it's not regime change

it's regime same. We have arrested

it's regime same We have arrested

Skeletor

and appointed the new leader of

Attorneyia,

Attorneyia

Mrs. Skeletor.

Mrs Skeletor

Still Skeletor stuff. Still, it's still

Still Skeletor stuff Still it's still

Skeletor stuff, but now it's a lady.

Skeletor stuff but now it's a lady

Skull's got lipstick right here. Little

Skull's got lipstick right here Little

bow. Now Rodriguez may be in charge, but

bow Now Rodriguez may be in charge but

only as long as she does what the US

wants. Because on Sunday, Trump said if

wants Because on Sunday Trump said if

she doesn't do what's right, she's going

she doesn't do what's right she's going

to pay a very big price. Probably bigger

to pay a very big price Probably bigger

than Maduro. Maduro is in a hell hole in

than Maduro Maduro is in a hell hole in

Brooklyn.

Brooklyn

What's worse than that? Is he going to

What's worse than that Is he going to

send her to Staten Island?

send her to Staten Island

So,

love the stat.

love the stat

So, Trump has made it clear if his

So Trump has made it clear if his

puppet doesn't do what he wants, he'll

puppet doesn't do what he wants he'll

install a new puppet. So, what's he

install a new puppet So what's he

want?

want

>> We're going to take back the oil. We'll

>> We're going to take back the oil We'll

be selling oil. Oil. Oil. Oil. Oil. They

be selling oil Oil Oil Oil Oil They

stole our oil.

stole our oil

>> Wow.

>> Wow

That was really poor planning for

someone to put our oil under Venezuela.

someone to put our oil under Venezuela

That's so inconvenient. For the record,

That's so inconvenient For the record

the whole "stole our oil" thing he's

the whole stole our oil thing he's

referring to is Venezuela nationalizing

its domestic oil industry, pushing out

its domestic oil industry pushing out

American companies like ExxonMobil in

1976.

1976

Thank you, Donald Trump. What other

Thank you Donald Trump What other

wrongs of the Gerald Ford administration

will you finally make right? Ladies and

will you finally make right Ladies and

gentlemen, I'm here to announce we have

gentlemen I'm here to announce we have

launched a second strike on the F.S.

launched a second strike on the FS

God bless the USA.

God bless the USA

This is thank you. That's me doing Trump

This is thank you That's me doing Trump

doing Winkler.

doing Winkler

This is so much about the oil that even

though the administration did not brief

Congress on the strikes, Trump spoke to

Congress on the strikes Trump spoke to

oil companies before taking action in

Venezuela. But that's not it makes

Venezuela But that's not it makes

sense. That's why the founders

sense That's why the founders

established three co-equal branches of

government. executive, judicial, and

government executive judicial and

gluglug sweet dinosaur juice.

gluglug sweet dinosaur juice

And to be clear, I can understand why

And to be clear I can understand why

he's so interested because Venezuela has

got a ton of the stuff. The country is

got a ton of the stuff The country is

home to the world's largest oil

reserves, second only to a single slice

reserves second only to a single slice

of pizza hut.

of pizza hut

They're going to have to lay a napkin

over the whole country.

over the whole country

Now, invading a country with a mustachio

Now invading a country with a mustachio

dictator and saying, "Don't worry, their

dictator and saying Don't worry their

oil will pay for this war." is kind of

oil will pay for this war is kind of

where I got on this train 20 plus years

ago. It didn't work then and I doubt

ago It didn't work then and I doubt

it's going to work now. And I hope the

it's going to work now And I hope the

American people don't fall for this a

second time. Never forget these wise

second time Never forget these wise

words.

words

>> Fool me once.

>> Fool me once

Shame on.

Shame on

Shame on you.

Shame on you

It fooled me. We can't get fooled again.

It fooled me We can't get fooled again

[Applause]

Applause

I miss you.

I miss you

>> We got a great show for you tonight. My

>> We got a great show for you tonight My

guests are Ethan Hawk and Julia Yafi.

guests are Ethan Hawk and Julia Yafi

And when we come back, some exciting

And when we come back some exciting

announcements from the band. Stick

announcements from the band Stick

around.

around

Heat. Heat.

Heat Heat

[Music]

Music

[Applause]

Applause

[Music]

Music

[Applause]

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