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Welcome everybody. Welcome one and all
Welcome everybody Welcome one and all
to the Late Show. I am your host Steven
to the Late Show I am your host Steven
Colbear. Ladies [cheering] and
Colbear Ladies cheering and
gentlemen,
gentlemen
well, holidays are upon us. Uh it is
well holidays are upon us Uh it is
December December 2nd. The year is
December December 2nd The year is
almost over and 2025 has it's been a
almost over and 2025 has it's been a
rough one. And I mean, obviously,
rough one And I mean obviously
there's no one to blame for that other
there's no one to blame for that other
than Donald other than Donald Trump. And
than Donald other than Donald Trump And
and a lot of people are uh in the new
and a lot of people are uh in the new
Gallup poll, his approval rating is down
Gallup poll his approval rating is down
to 36% with [cheering] 60%
to 36 with cheering 60
disapproval.
disapproval
Yeah. Which is why Trump has started to
Yeah Which is why Trump has started to
wear a new hat. More popular than
wear a new hat More popular than
syphilis.
syphilis
By that much. Just by that much.
By that much Just by that much
Penicellin won't help with him. Now, so
Penicellin won't help with him Now so
Trump's underwater in every category
Trump's underwater in every category
according to a new Yuggov, no Yuggov
according to a new Yuggov no Yuggov
poll, [laughter]
poll laughter
he's very unpopular overall as
he's very unpopular overall as
president. Uh unpopular on the economy,
president Uh unpopular on the economy
on healthcare, on the Epstein
on healthcare on the Epstein
investigation, on education, and on the
investigation on education and on the
environment. Donald Trump. I just found
environment Donald Trump I just found
that Donald Trump is also the most hated
that Donald Trump is also the most hated
Zootopia character, [cheering] the
Zootopia character cheering the
lowest rated midsize sedan, and the
lowest rated midsize sedan and the
least popular Oreo flavor double stuffed
least popular Oreo flavor double stuffed
cankle. Now, [cheering]
cankle Now cheering
the thing I said I unpopular. Now, the
the thing I said I unpopular Now the
thing hurting Trump the most is cost of
thing hurting Trump the most is cost of
living for the average American. He has
living for the average American He has
been trying everything he can think of,
been trying everything he can think of
which is not much. [laughter]
which is not much laughter
And to appease voters, he started
And to appease voters he started
reminding them that his big beautiful
reminding them that his big beautiful
bill takes effect on January 1st. But
bill takes effect on January 1st But
that's actually going to cause a problem
that's actually going to cause a problem
[snorts] because IRS agents will be
snorts because IRS agents will be
required to watch only fans videos to
required to watch only fans videos to
determine if they fit the bill's no tax
determine if they fit the bill's no tax
on tips criteria.
on tips criteria
They're going to have to watch every
They're going to have to watch every
Only Fans video. They're going to need
Only Fans video They're going to need
to bring in some part-time help. Billy.
to bring in some part-time help Billy
Billy, what are you doing in there?
Billy what are you doing in there
Don't come in, Mom. I'm I'm running an
Don't come in Mom I'm I'm running an
audit.
audit
[laughter]
laughter
Now, today,
Now today
uh Trump held one of his weird, uh
uh Trump held one of his weird uh
televised cabinet meetings, and uh
televised cabinet meetings and uh
somewhere in that three hours, he
somewhere in that three hours he
addressed the affordability crisis head
addressed the affordability crisis head
on.
on
>> The word affordability is a conj job by
>> The word affordability is a conj job by
the Democrats. It's one of the many conj
the Democrats It's one of the many conj
job words made up by the Democrats
job words made up by the Democrats
like democracy,
like democracy
dementia, and
dementia and
the Epstein files.
the Epstein files
All made up. [cheering]
All made up cheering
Am I leaning? I feel like I'm listening
Am I leaning I feel like I'm listening
a little bit to Starboard here. Now, one
a little bit to Starboard here Now one
of the reasons you're paying exactly as
of the reasons you're paying exactly as
much as you want for everything is
much as you want for everything is
Trump's tariffs. And it turns out you
Trump's tariffs And it turns out you
like those too.
like those too
>> We're going to be giving back refunds
>> We're going to be giving back refunds
out of the tariffs because we've taken
out of the tariffs because we've taken
in literally trillions of dollars. And I
in literally trillions of dollars And I
believe that at some point in the not
believe that at some point in the not
too distant future, you won't even have
too distant future you won't even have
income tax to pay because the money
income tax to pay because the money
we're taking in is so great, it's so
we're taking in is so great it's so
enormous that you're not going to have
enormous that you're not going to have
income tax to pay whether you get rid of
income tax to pay whether you get rid of
it or just keep it around for fun.
it or just keep it around for fun
>> Yes.
>> Yes
>> [laughter]
>> laughter
>> I don't know why people suspect that
>> I don't know why people suspect that
he's never paid taxes.
he's never paid taxes
He knows, like we all do, the taxes are
He knows like we all do the taxes are
fun. That's why the longest line at
fun That's why the longest line at
Disneyland is to get on Accountants of
Disneyland is to get on Accountants of
the Caribbean.
the Caribbean
Then uh the president of the United
Then uh the president of the United
States bragged about slimming down the
States bragged about slimming down the
price of Ozmpic.
price of Ozmpic
>> We're paying as an example for the let's
>> We're paying as an example for the let's
call it the fat drug. The fat drug fat
call it the fat drug The fat drug fat
for fat people.
for fat people
>> Fat people. for fat people. F A T fat
>> Fat people for fat people F A T fat
people. People p e E ple [laughter]
people People p e E ple laughter
[cheering]
cheering
cognitive.
cognitive
Cognitive, which is spelled
Cognitive which is spelled
MRI. Cognitive.
MRI Cognitive
I think that's how you spell it. Now,
I think that's how you spell it Now
[applause and cheering]
applause and cheering
the later, again, I'm listening
the later again I'm listening
slightly. I'm right over here. We got to
slightly I'm right over here We got to
get the ballast back. And the later in
get the ballast back And the later in
the meeting, uh, we heard from Marco
the meeting uh we heard from Marco
Rubio. Now, if you watch this footage
Rubio Now if you watch this footage
very closely, eagle-eyed viewers might
very closely eagle-eyed viewers might
notice that Trump is dozing off.
notice that Trump is dozing off
>> This war is going on, and the president
>> This war is going on and the president
is trying to end it. Not because,
is trying to end it Not because
listen, we got a million things to focus
listen we got a million things to focus
on in the world as a country, but he's
on in the world as a country but he's
the only leader in the world that can
the only leader in the world that can
help end it.
help end it
>> Okay,
>> Okay
[cheering]
cheering
let's be fair. Maybe he's so old that he
let's be fair Maybe he's so old that he
fell asleep in an afternoon meeting. Or
fell asleep in an afternoon meeting Or
maybe he just closed his eyes to better
maybe he just closed his eyes to better
concentrate on filling his adult diaper.
concentrate on filling his adult diaper
Then
Then
[cheering]
cheering
[applause]
applause
then he fell asleep.
then he fell asleep
[cheering]
cheering
Toasty. The administration.
Toasty The administration
[applause and music]
applause and music
The administration is also scrambling to
The administration is also scrambling to
defend the actions of Defense Secretary
defend the actions of Defense Secretary
Pete Hgse. Seen here finding out they
Pete Hgse Seen here finding out they
don't serve booze at the American Girl
don't serve booze at the American Girl
doll cafe.
doll cafe
Hgseth. He's in deep water over what he
Hgseth He's in deep water over what he
ordered uh to be done in deep water.
ordered uh to be done in deep water
Specifically, an attack on an alleged
Specifically an attack on an alleged
drug smuggling boat in which the Navy
drug smuggling boat in which the Navy
launched a secondary strike on the
launched a secondary strike on the
defenseless survivors, which may or may
defenseless survivors which may or may
definitely be a war crime. The United
definitely be a war crime The United
The White House is insisting that
The White House is insisting that
Hegath's orders were totally legal, but
Hegath's orders were totally legal but
also that it wasn't actually Hegth. They
also that it wasn't actually Hegth They
say the strikes were conducted by
say the strikes were conducted by
special operations commander and
special operations commander and
fourstar cage-free egg Admiral Mitch
fourstar cage-free egg Admiral Mitch
Bradley.
Bradley
Hexath has made it clear that he is 100%
Hexath has made it clear that he is 100
behind Admiral Bradley who was the one
behind Admiral Bradley who was the one
who actually did the bad thing which was
who actually did the bad thing which was
actually a good thing that Hegath didn't
actually a good thing that Hegath didn't
even do. Yesterday he tweeted, "Adm
even do Yesterday he tweeted Adm
Mitch Bradley is an American hero, a
Mitch Bradley is an American hero a
true professional, and has my 100%
true professional and has my 100
support. I stand by him and the combat
support I stand by him and the combat
decision he has made. [cheering]
decision he has made cheering
Adding, I hope that his flight to the
Adding I hope that his flight to the
Hague is on time and his chair at the
Hague is on time and his chair at the
tribunal is comfy.
tribunal is comfy
At today's cabinet meeting, Hexath
At today's cabinet meeting Hexath
explained what happened the day of the
explained what happened the day of the
strike and he took full responsibility
strike and he took full responsibility
for finding out what somebody else who
for finding out what somebody else who
is not him did. I watched that first
is not him did I watched that first
strike live. Uh, as you can imagine at
strike live Uh as you can imagine at
the Department of War, we got a lot of
the Department of War we got a lot of
things to do. So, I didn't stick around
things to do So I didn't stick around
for the hour and two hours. So, I moved
for the hour and two hours So I moved
on to my next meeting. Couple of hours
on to my next meeting Couple of hours
later, I learned that that commander had
later I learned that that commander had
made the which he had the complete
made the which he had the complete
authority to do. And by the way, Admiral
authority to do And by the way Admiral
Bradley made the correct decision to
Bradley made the correct decision to
ultimately sink the boat and eliminate
ultimately sink the boat and eliminate
the threat. As President Trump always
the threat As President Trump always
has our back, we always have the back of
has our back we always have the back of
our commanders.
our commanders
>> We always have their backs cuz that's
>> We always have their backs cuz that's
where the good stabbing meat is.
where the good stabbing meat is
But while get a kidney maybe. But while
But while get a kidney maybe But while
[applause]
applause
[applause and cheering]
applause and cheering
but while Hegth did not make the
but while Hegth did not make the
decision for the perfectly fine possible
decision for the perfectly fine possible
murder, he did double down on his
murder he did double down on his
warfight and warrior ethos of war waring
warfight and warrior ethos of war waring
war.
war
>> We've only just begun striking narco
>> We've only just begun striking narco
boats and putting narot terrorists uh at
boats and putting narot terrorists uh at
the bottom of the ocean. Joe Biden tried
the bottom of the ocean Joe Biden tried
to approach it with kid gloves and
to approach it with kid gloves and
President Trump said, "No, we're taking
President Trump said No we're taking
the gloves off."
the gloves off
>> President Trump, please don't take the
>> President Trump please don't take the
gloves off
gloves off
because the stuff under there is a human
because the stuff under there is a human
rights violation.
rights violation
[cheering]
cheering
One person who's not buying the story is
One person who's not buying the story is
Arizona senator and cage-free astronaut
Arizona senator and cage-free astronaut
egg. [cheering]
egg cheering
[applause]
applause
Thank
Thank
Mark Kelly. A couple weeks ago, Kelly
Mark Kelly A couple weeks ago Kelly
and some other Democratic veterans in
and some other Democratic veterans in
Congress put out a video where they
Congress put out a video where they
reminded service members that they can
reminded service members that they can
refuse illegal orders. And we were all
refuse illegal orders And we were all
like, "Haha, why are they even saying
like Haha why are they even saying
that? That's not something you have to
that That's not something you have to
say." Well, it turns out you have to say
say Well it turns out you have to say
that. And Senator Kelly held a press
that And Senator Kelly held a press
conference to drive home just how
conference to drive home just how
dangerous and unqualified Pete Hgse is.
dangerous and unqualified Pete Hgse is
He runs around on a stage talking about
He runs around on a stage talking about
lethality
lethality
and warrior ethos and killing people. He
and warrior ethos and killing people He
runs around on a stage like he's a
runs around on a stage like he's a
12year-old playing army.
12year-old playing army
>> Uh I don't know about that. Those
>> Uh I don't know about that Those
12-year-olds are probably sober.
12-year-olds are probably sober
Most of them. Most of them. [applause]
Most of them Most of them applause
Now, thank you, Mark. Trump's
Now thank you Mark Trump's
unpopularity comes at a tough time uh
unpopularity comes at a tough time uh
for the rest of the GOP because it's
for the rest of the GOP because it's
election night in America. Roll it.
election night in America Roll it
>> Election night in America. Well, just in
>> Election night in America Well just in
Tennessee and actually just a little
Tennessee and actually just a little
sliver of it.
sliver of it
>> Am I done? Do you guys validate parking?
>> Am I done Do you guys validate parking
>> Lately, Republican congressmen have been
>> Lately Republican congressmen have been
quitting in droves. And as a result, uh,
quitting in droves And as a result uh
there is a special election today to
there is a special election today to
represent Tennessee's seventh district,
represent Tennessee's seventh district
the fight in seventh. Now, this contest
the fight in seventh Now this contest
pits, uh, Trumpbacked Republican Matt
pits uh Trumpbacked Republican Matt
Van Eps against Democratic state rep and
Van Eps against Democratic state rep and
junior jumble clue Afton Bane.
junior jumble clue Afton Bane
And because this district includes
And because this district includes
portions of Nashville, you can't rule
portions of Nashville you can't rule
out the dark horse candidate, pink
out the dark horse candidate pink
cowboy boot a bachelorette threw up in.
cowboy boot a bachelorette threw up in
Back in 2024, Trump won the seventh by
Back in 2024 Trump won the seventh by
22 points. But going into election
22 points But going into election
night, the most recent poll shows a
night the most recent poll shows a
statistical dead heat. Now, that's a bad
statistical dead heat Now that's a bad
sign for the House GOP majority, which
sign for the House GOP majority which
is so razor thin that Representative Tim
is so razor thin that Representative Tim
Burchett said at a rally last night,
Burchett said at a rally last night
"Folks, we are one flu season away from
Folks we are one flu season away from
losing the majority."
losing the majority
[cheering]
cheering
Sir,
Sir
[applause]
applause
Congressman, our health secretary is RFK
Congressman our health secretary is RFK
Jr., we are one flu season away from
Jr we are one flu season away from
losing the species.
losing the species
This weekend, another House Republican
This weekend another House Republican
announced he won't be seeking
announced he won't be seeking
re-election. Texas Representative Troy
re-election Texas Representative Troy
Nails, seen here saying, "Tell the
Nails seen here saying Tell the
Batman my boys will be waiting for him."
Batman my boys will be waiting for him
Nails isn't alone. Five other
Nails isn't alone Five other
Republicans from Texas have already
Republicans from Texas have already
announced they won't seek re-election in
announced they won't seek re-election in
2026. [cheering] They are. That's a lot.
2026 cheering They are That's a lot
Five just in Texas. So, that's six
Five just in Texas So that's six
including nails.
including nails
>> [applause]
>> applause
>> They're fleeing the GOP sinking ship,
>> They're fleeing the GOP sinking ship
which is smart because Hegath is about
which is smart because Hegath is about
to order a second strike on it.
to order a second strike on it
[applause and cheering]
applause and cheering
Nells is he's a Trump believer who voted
Nells is he's a Trump believer who voted
to overturn the 2020 election and is a
to overturn the 2020 election and is a
member of the anti-woke caucus, though
member of the anti-woke caucus though
we all know who is the leader of the
we all know who is the leader of the
anti-woke caucus. We got a great show
anti-woke caucus We got a great show
for you tonight. [music] My guest is
for you tonight music My guest is
Rachel Maddo. We are back. The latest
Rachel Maddo We are back The latest
exciting news from Hollywood. Stick
exciting news from Hollywood Stick
around. [music]
around music
[music]
music
[music]
music
Come on.
Come on
>> [cheering]
>> cheering
- Pause

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